


Release me

by Cheap_Plastic_Bouncy_Ball



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: AAAAAANGST!!!!!!, Gen, One shot forever, One sided Thranduil/Tauriel, Poor Me, Poor Reader, Poor Tauriel, So. Much. Angst, Suggestion of elfish magic, grab a box of tissues, poor thranduil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-11 23:20:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7911505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheap_Plastic_Bouncy_Ball/pseuds/Cheap_Plastic_Bouncy_Ball
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One evening Tauriel tells Thranduil she wishes she could speak to Kili one last time. Thranduil makes it happen. Thranduil is prepared for the consequences, Tauriel not so much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Release me

**Author's Note:**

> This idea sprang to mind and I had to write it. I am in a rather sad mood and kind of scared right now so angst suits my mood. It's nothing I want to show up in When Love Beckons so I thought I would share (the misery) as a one shot.
> 
> Okay, okay I am acting like at complete and utter drama queen here but forgive me. I am going into the hospital and... well... If I don't update When Love Beckons in a few months.... Yeah... Did I mention I'm really, really scared?
> 
> This fic is a product of my emotions right now. Please don't hate me.
> 
> Also, questionable Elvish words...
> 
> ___

Tauriel found herself standing at the edge of the forest unsure how she came to be there. Someone was approaching so she turned to see who was arriving from the path beside her and gasped as she put her hand to her heart.

"Kili!" she cried as she braced herself against a nearby tree. "Was she dead? If so how could he possibly be the one to meet her? This is not how everything was supposed to work. She fell to her knees, put her hands to her face and wept

"Amrâlimê," he said as he kissed the top of her head then lifted her face so he could look at her.

"I still don't know what that means," Tauriel said then drew in a shaking breath as her eyes took in the sight of him. His eyes were still alight with such vibrant life and he was looking at her like she was the sun, moon, and stars. It would have made her knees weak if she were not already upon them.

"My Love," he told her in common and she shut her eyes. This illusion hurt far too much. This dream was cruel and horrible and she wanted out of it. But then again she didn't.

"Melamin," Tauriel whispered as she opened her eyes to again meet his. The look he gave her was like nothing she'd ever seen; joy, peace, merriment, innocence and such love that it made her want to scream and fight and kick and bite to keep it safe, to keep him safe. Alive. To not have failed him so badly.

He smiled and smoothed his hand against her cheek and she leaned into his palm, putting her hand against his for fear he would disappear. Tears flowed down her face as she closed her eyes. Dear, Eru it hurt to look at him.

"Amrâlimê," he whispered against her lips and she lifted her face to meet his, whimpering as he moved back to keep the hair's breath of space between them. "No more tears for me. I am free."

"Take me with you," Tauriel begged as she reached forward and grasped his shirt. "Don't leave me here. Not without you. Not without your love. I'm so alone. I need you. Please. Please, Kili. I love you. I love you more than anything. More than the forest. More than life. Please."

The next she knew he had pulled her to him. She buried face against his neck, breathing in the smell of him. The beautiful smell of leather, steel, and her Kili. She breathed deeply as she pressed against him.

"I would have you live, Tauriel," he whispered against her ear and she shivered not wanting to hear his words and yet wanting everything he had to say all at once.

"And I would rather have had you live. Us both live," Tauriel said against his neck. "I would have us live and be happy." He turned his head and lifted her face by the chin then kissed her lips, gasping as she pushed against him, deepening the kiss until they both lost their breath.

"Your king was right," he said as he pulled away and looked into her face as he smoothed wayward hairs from between them. "One way or another our separation was inevitable. Perhaps it was better this way instead of having years and years together. You can heal from this. You can move on."

Tauriel shook her head. "No," she said. "Never. Never Kili. I will love you until the unmaking of everything. Do you think my heart is so fickle that I could love you one day and someone else the next? We elves, we love forever."

Kili tilted his head and looked at her, his eyes still full of mischief and some how so much more wise despite his short years compared to hers. "Then remember our love, Tauriel. But, I want for you all the fullness and joy of life. Forever is a long time to mourn a love that was never allowed to grow. Take an elf to husband, perhaps have children. Name one after me."

"No," Tauriel said shaking her head as she fisted her hands in Kili's hair to keep him from leaving her. "No."

"Yes," he told her and kissed her again. She cried out against his lips while he told her to promise him.

"As you live so do I," Kili told her. "My immortality is in your memory. And I too will love you until the unmaking of all things. Now promise me so I might have peace."

"I can't," Tauriel cried.

"You can."

"I won't."

"If you love me you will," Kili told her as he pressed their foreheads together.

"This is killing me," she cried. "What you're asking me to do. It's going to kill me."

"I don't think it will," Kili said. "Because you love me you will do this. You will be strong and you will fight and you will live. What I most want is for your happiness. Promise me. Please." He kissed her again.

Tauriel sucked in a deep breath and looked into his face. "I promise, Kili. I will live my life. I will love, laugh, and move on, but I swear to all who bear witness..." Kili put his fingers against her lips to silence her.

"I know, Amrâlimê. Me too. Me too."

\---

Tauriel woke with a gasp as she sat up and looked around the darkened room. He wasn't in her arms anymore. No matter how tight she held on to him he was still taken from her. She screamed in anguish and rage as she pulled her knees up into her chest then wept until her tears ran dry.

She lifted her head from her knees and came to the realization she wasn't alone. Thranduil was standing by the fire with his back to her. She scooted off the couch and stood, not taking his eyes from him as she moved toward the fire.

He was like a silver flame against the red and orange glow, standing with his head bowed down and his hand against the mantle as if it could hold him up from the weight of what he had done for her as it settled on his shoulders. "Are you all right?" he whispered but didn't turn.

"No," Tauriel answered. "What was that? What did you do to me?"

"Something that I wish had been done for me," Thranduil answered as he turned to look at her. She could see the emotion in his eyes and she hated him for it. He loved her. She knew it just as surely as he had spoke the words aloud. He looked at her like Kili looked at her, as though she were the sun, the moon, and all the stars.

Tauriel clenched her fists so hard that her palms bled as she walked toward the fire toward him. "Was it real?" she asked.

He closed his eyes and bowed his head. "Yes."

"Can you do it again? Can you bring him back to me again?"

Thranduil shook his head as his eyes opened and he held her angry gaze. "I told you when we began that I could do it only once." He reached out to touch her and she moved away from him like he was poison.

"I hate you," she said as she held his gaze and took pleasure in the sorrow on his always too placid, emotionless face. He put a shaking hand to his chest though he kept his eyes locked with hers.

"I hate you for taking him away from me," she continued. Her words made her feel sick and dizzy - They were too cruel, too harsh; but she forced them out of her mouth anyway, slashing at him like they were blades meant to inflict as much pain as she now felt. "I hate you for not saving him. I hate you for not being him and I hate you for daring- For imagining that you have any capacity to love anyone and that they could ever, ever love you in return."

"Tauriel," he said so softly she could barely hear him. She gave him a look of pure hate then turned on her heel and walked from the room.

Thranduil waited until he was sure she was gone then stumbled to the nearest chair and allowed himself to collapse in it as he tilted his head back while tears trickled from his eyes. He had known this would happen but he had hoped she would wake from the dream at peace, thankful for the gift he'd given her.

"Now go to Legolas, my sweet, beautiful, Tauriel." he said to the ceiling then closed his eyes. He didn't have the energy to move from his chair and so he sat there until morning where Galion found him and helped him stand.

"Take me to my bed," he told Galion. "I am not well today." He felt every last one endless years and all he wanted now was to rest. 

"Yes, My Lord," Galion agreed as he tucked Thranduil into his bed. "Would you like something to eat? Some wine?"

"No," Thranduil answered as he turned his gaze to the outside. "Leave me be. I want to be left alone." For alone is what he would always be as long as he stayed in Middle Earth and he doubted he could ever bring himself to leave.

   
\-----


End file.
